Using an external battery with Canon 580 EX ii

I bought an external battery pack a while ago to use with my Canon Speedlight 580 EX ii. I was unaware that you have to set the Flash Custom Functions for an external battery pack. Needless to say it burned out my flash and I had to have it repaired (Luckily it was under warranty still).

I am now wondering what is the proper way to use an external battery pack with this flash. On my camera (Canon 5D Mark ii) it has 2 custom function setting for external power. One says Flash and external power and the other just says external power source. I'm pretty sure the first one is the default setting so I would assume I would need to be using the other. Also, I was told by the Canon rep that I can't use ETTL with an external power source and that I can only use the flash in Manual mode. Is this true?

Cast your mind back about ten years

Remember the EOS 10D? It seems it was a spectacular camera when it came out. Lots of glowing reviews still exist on the web. I own one now, I picked it up used from a studio photographer. I've had it for about two or three years. I am not a photographer by trade, but I sometimes get lucky and capture a real nice image.

I would like to learn how to use my camera better, how to understand its features and those mysterious "custom functions." I re-printed the non-introductory portions of the owner's manual onto 8 1/2 x 11 paper and keep it in a binder so I can refer to it more easily than thumbing through the credit-card-sized original. I am surprised, however, that I haven't been able to turn up a how-to book focusing on this specific camera. Something like this, but for the Canon 10D.

The reason I want a book devoted to the camera I have is so that I can get specific instructions like "Press the * button, then use the large function wheel on the back to select [the appropriate feature] from the rear screen menu--the LCD display will [do this and that]" rather than "Adjust the color temperature and then set ISO to 200 and a shutter speed of..." whatever, which sends me tearing all through the manual to find out how to adjust each of those settings.

Was there such a book? Preferably something like a workshop with exercises rather than a "for Dummies" type book.

A question for you guys

My work found out I do photography as a hobby and they asked me to take pics of some of our events we setup. What's the best way to keep the brightness level of all the pics consistent? Til now I've been using Lightroom 3 but since I only do individual hobby shots, I've never had to worry about keeping my shots somewhat consistent in terms of levels wise. I use an internal meter. The meter works pretty good on my t3i, but it's not perfect. I use my best judgement to compensate. At this point I don't want to use an external meter. So does anyone know of a good method to balancing my brightness in Lightroom so that all my pics from a event match well? Should I adjust exposure, brightness, contrast, then copy paste that setting to all my pics before doing individual editing? Or should I eyeball compare them?

Instagram wedding photographer

Don't you hate it when people say these comments--
"who needs a photographer? I have an iPhone."

followed by "instagram will put you out of business"

followed by "I'm saving tons on my daughter's wedding photos" (for a night wedding)

followed by "the photos look ok on the phone, but the prints are grainy."

followed by "can you fix these so I can get good 8x10's?"

yes I am venting today! His daughter has wedding photos that have beautiful borders and effects and gimmicks. But the images themselves suck big time. And last but not least, this is the same guy who made the wedding guest list to maximize the numbers of invitees who wouldn't be able to attend due to distance but feel obligated to send a gift.


There's lots of people out there like this. Not much to do but explain what you offer (perhaps in the context of explaining some of the challenges that make experience and capable equipment valuable) and why you think it's worth what you charge, and avoid rubbing it in when it turns sour for them, so they aren't embittered against hiring your for future needs.

One of the most extreme cases I've heard of such cynicism was a lady who demanded that guests who use the bathroom not flush unless it was a #2, and I think she even had limits on that...thankfully not someone I knew. $0.02 cents at most for a flush worth of water, but no friends to share the savings with.

And Instagram is a crime against photography.

What's with mothers and moms taking over?

Just a vent.... But this is this second shower I've offered to host and it turned out I didn't actually get to host the shower. The first one I offered to host I wanted to have at my house. Out of respect for my friends moms feelings I had it at her house. Then, I offered to throw another friends shower and she begged me to have it at her parents house. I agreed even though I wanted to host, my friend then tried to lead the planning process by choosing invitations and colors and leading the meeting her mother and I had. They also went ahead and purchased decorations. I get that she's excited to have a baby and I get her mom is excited to be a gma again but it's like why should I have offered to host if the hosting would be taken from me? I dunno, I almost feel like I've been told what to do with this shower. I also have been pushed away by my friend. I've tried to hang out with this friend but have yet to have more Han a few seconds...

Recently engaged, need guidance

I just got engaged on Halloween, and I have no clue where to start. I'm getting told different things, and so i thought i would ask people who have gone through this more recently. at this point, i am thinking either a fall 2013 wedding (like September/October) or spring/early summer 2014. or i would even be open to a fall 2014 wedding, though my soon to be MIL keeps saying that that is too long of a wait. I just really don't want to feel rushed. I want to enjoy this whole process.

My fiance and i have been dating since January 15, 2010 (after a short month long break in December 2009. we had first started dating October 24, 2009). We have been best friends for about 5 years, though. We are young (i'm 20, he's 22), casual people. we don't go out much, and quite honestly neither of us have very many friends (we have both been used by "friends" too many times, and have lost trust in most of them). We own our home (well, i should say it is in his name, so technically his, though it is both of our home) and have 7 "kids"-all animals. 3 dogs, 4 cats. the dogs i would like to incorporate in the wedding somehow. They are my life (as they are my best friends) and especially my oldest, 6 yo Lab Maya, has been there through some very hard times in life. if i could, i would make her my MOH. this may sound silly to most, but that is who i am.

Other things we have talked about before we got engaged include: no church. no religion-as we are not religious people. would like it to be outdoor. low key, not very many guests. I would like to make it low budget (i haven't talked to my parents yet, but i am assuming they will be paying for most. his parents have no issues spending money on it either). it seems foolish to me to spend so much money on one day. I cannot imagine spending $1,000 on a dress...I'll only wear it once! I just don't know what else to think about at this stage...please help!! Thanks :)

Glass bottles full of rose petals

What would you do with 100's of bottles of Starbucks glass Frappuchino bottles stuffed with fake red rose petals? They look pretty but the bride decided not to use them for centerpiece ideas. Great I will just recycle them, but also have thousands of polyester (pretty) rose petals, is there a way to use them in the bridal shower for something? food riser? Make into large heart shape (where) cannot line walkway or outside of facility due to wind/weather/clean up issues?

Wedding reception mistakes made by others that you learned from

I'd like to know what are some disasters or mistakes that you've seen at other weddings that will help you avoid calamity on your big day? I recently went to a wedding that was held on Wednesday at 4pm and practically no one showed up. I've also been to a reception where there was no dancing for guests. The B&G was late in arriving then they had the first dance, bride/dad, groom/mom and dinner. Then there was the bridal party dance. Then the cake was cut and they started the money dance which went on for far, far, FAR too many songs. Then the bouquet and the final song and done.

There wasn't ONE single time where the guests could get up and dance. I don't think it was intentional I think it was a matter of timing with everything.

Another-
I went to another wedding where the guest list was HUGE (nearly 400) and the reception was held in a park. The food was at different stations (all heavy appetizers). Not only wasn't there enough food for the guests but there weren't enough plates or silverware and NO ONE was monitoring to make sure that the guests were actual guests, and not just people hanging out at the park who helped themselves to the food and open bar.

Another-
A friend of mine went to a wedding recently where there wasn't a single thing she could eat (she's a vegetarian). The salad had bacon in it (or maybe the dressing did and the salad was already dressed). The mac & cheese had ham, the veggies were cooked in bacon fat and had bacon. She said it was a bacon lovers feast and her husband loved it but they left early because she was starving.

My final one-
Some friends of mine got married at a winery and while they were allowed to serve whatever hard liquor they wanted the HAD to use the winery's wine. The winery would bill them for however much they used. They hired bartenders from a local chain restaurant near their house. What they SHOULD have done is somehow kept track of how much alcohol they had and how much was used but they didn't. Somehow ALL the hard liquor disappeared by the end of the night (and we know it wasn't all drunk by guests) and the winery said they went through a stupid amount of wine. It would have equaled EACH guest drinking 2 bottles of wine which would NOT have happened when there was top shelf liquor to be drunk instead of pretty crappy wine. But they had no way to contest it so they had to pay for it and they weren't able to return all the unused hard liquor because it disappeared.

I'm interested to hear about your experiences.

What's so special about commercial carpeting?

We just came back from a fancy restaurant where they had really nice wall to wall carpeting in every room — from lobby to bar to corridors to the dining area. even the back halls leading to the restrooms had full carpeting. each room was a different color/pattern. It wasn't new either, probably been there over 10 years but it still looks clean and feels strong under foot with no visible damage.

So i'm thinking... why not install commercial carpeting in our house? We need to replace the living and hallway areas. These are the highest traffic areas of the house like the kitchen and dining comes into the living then to the hallway. Our main entry comes into hallway then to all bedrooms and bathrooms. Is there anything wrong with this idea? What's the downside of using commercial carpeting in a house? Also how the heck do restaurants manage to keep theirs so clean?

By the way, is there a combo vacuum steam cleaner?Is there such a thing as a combination vacuum steam cleaner meaning that if you just want to vacuum without steam cleaning you can do so. I need a a good vacuum cleaner with all the different size nozzles that come with it. And I could use a steam cleaner. It would be nice to get it all in one package instead of two different units.

Inappropriate or no?

A co-worker of mine is getting married next summer. Her and her fiance are in their early twenties and are on a strict budget. Because of financial constraints they decided not to have +1's at the reception so when the invitations went out there were no spaces to write in a guest.

Yesterday she tells me that one of our other co-workers RSVP'd and wrote in the name of her boyfriend as her guest. Naturally she is really irritated and doesn't know whether or not to say something. So my question is: Is it tacky to write in a +1 if the invitation doesn't explicitly state to do? Should my co-worker let it slide to keep the peace or be honest and say something?

What do you guys think? I think it is inappropriate because the invitation already tells the guest how many people they can bring, unless your coworker worded the invitation poorly. Do you feel like it was very clear that they didn't want the +1's?


Generally, if you don't want to leave the number of people open your invite will say something like "X# of seats have been reserved in your honor" and/or it will be addressed to "Miss Co Worker" or "Miss Co Worker and Guest". If it's not going to cause a huge problem she should leave it alone. If that one extra person is the difference between the up-to-75-guests package and the 76-150-guests package, then she should say something.

Recommend a camera for photographing items for websites

My wife needs a decent digital camera for taking photos of items for an e-commerce store and blog. It will be mostly clothing, and some small household items. The easier to use, the better, as she is not very saavy on photography. Something she can either hold, or put on a tripod and take pics of items indoors, using household lighting. The lights that are in the area she photographs in are incandescent bulbs, as I do know that florescent lights are horrible. She has a mannequin that has a white wall as a backdrop. Any recommendations? I'd like to spend under $500 ideally.

One feature in a camera that would be useful in her application would be the ability to do custom white balance. That lets you get the colors right under changing lighting conditions, as when some outside light is mixing with the incandescent, and does it in the camera rather than in later processing. Most better p&s will have it. But overall, ease of use is paramount. Image quality just needs to be good enough to sell used items, she doesn't need her photos to win awards. They just need to be good so people can see detail, and should not require any additional processing.

Photo Booths should have contract limits written

I have a few questions:
Are you a photographer?
Are you a photo booth operator?
Are you an image producer who can do pro pics in only two days?
Are you a gofer who runs errands for brides?

I do the photography and my spouse does the photo booth. I also have assistants and 2nd shooters. You should have a contract for each service provided in case there was a situation of failure on your part to make the other party understand what is required on you when it fails as well as the expectation of the party to which the service was offered but did not materialize.

Dealing with a Bridezilla

I own a wedding photography and photo booth rental business. I have been doing the photography part for a while but the photo booth only for a few months. I was hired by a bride to photographer her wedding and when she found out I was offering photo booths she decided to book that too. I have done to this point over 50 photo booth rentals but unfortunately this time I had some technical difficulties with the equipment in the booth and was unable to provide the booth for her wedding. I offered her a full refund for the photo booth rental, obviously, and for her troubles 2 additional spreads in her album. I know she was upset and I felt so bad but at least I was able to provider her with amazing photography.

However, after I send her an apology email the next day she starts to complain about the photography and even left a bad review on a wedding site even before seeing any pictures. She says I was late (even though she asked me to pick up a newspaper for one of her ring shots) she said I missed her giving her bridesmaids their gifts (even though she could have waited for me if it was really that important or told me and we could have reenacted the shots). She also complained that there was only one photographer and that I was not there every second even though her package only included one photographer (she bought my smallest package).

So in order to try to make her happy I rushed to get her photos edited and enhanced in just a couple days. I decided to give her more enhanced photos than what her package included, too. She said she really like the photos. So, yesterday she texts me saying that I was very rude and unprofessional with her brother and some other guests when trying to take the posed shots even though I was right next to her the whole time. They complained to her that I told them not to take their shots until I was done with mine since it can divert eyes and make to process longer (they were hot and thirsty already so I was rushed as it was). She then proceeds to threaten me by saying if I don't come up with something better than an additional 2 album spreads she will post negative reviews about my company all over the internet.

My contract states I don't have to give her any more than a full refund for the photo booth service and I only offered her the 2 more spreads because I felt bad. I have asked her on 4 separate occasions to tell me what she would like instead but get no response. I think she is trying to get some sort of refund on the photography but realizes I did a good job and has no right to one and is trying to get me to offer one.

This is the worst client I have ever dealt with. I have tried to make her happy and she seems bent on ruining mine and my family's livelihood. This is the only was my husband and I support ourselves and our son. Sorry for the long rant. What would you do in this situation?

Pricing vintage photography lenses and cameras

My grandfather passed and left behind a box full of cameras and lenses. My grandmother asked that I see what they are worth and sell them for her. I have no idea where to start and was thinking about going to a local camera shop, but not sure they would be honest if there was something that was pretty valuable (and buy cheap to sell big).

I have listed here the items I have...

1. Vintage Kodak No. 2-C Folding Autographic Brownie
2. Minolta 110 Zoom SLR
3. Polaroid The Reporter
4. Kodak Signet 40
5. Auto Sears Macro 55mm 1:28 with 1:1 Adapter ring & Hoya UV(o) Filter
6. Vivitar 200mm 1:3.5 Auto Telephoto Lens
7. Auto Sears MC Zoom 70mm 1:28 Lens with Rolev MG Haze Filter
8. Yus Automatic 135mm 1:2.8
9. Auto Sears 135mm f:2.8 with Kamero UV Filter
10. Auto Sears MC Zoom 90-230mm 1:4.5 with Hoya UV(o) Filter

The Polaroid and the Signet would be really fun to use. Those are both sort of popular in hipster circles, but not really valuable.

Not adding to the wedding planner drama

BUT I was at a very large (200 +) wedding on Saturday in a very fancy locale in Manila, and the wedding planner a one of the most disagreeable people Ive met at any kind of fancy function.

1) Wedding invite said 5 PM. We arrive at the venue, a huge outdoor spot with several weddings being held there, at 4:30 PM - no signage, no one seems to know which one of the wedding spots is the one we want, we wanted around till almost 5 PM looking for someone who knows something. We found the planner in a hallway, setting up candles, and she just laughed and said , "oh the wedding's not till 5:30 but I said to put 5 PM on the invites so no one would be late." if you're going to SAY 5 PM there should be SIGNAGE and arrows/maps balloons at 4:30 so we're not walking around in the cold. And your elderly guests aren't upset and tired.

2) At 5:30 the planner starts yelling "everyone sit down, everyone sit down, the bridal party is arriving" Isn't there a better way to ask your guests to be seated?

3) After the ceremony the planner runs out of the area and no one knows where to go. We knew there was an inside spot for drinks and food but no one knew where it was. So we all stand around wondering, and the planner comes back around 15 min later, "come on, let's go" and pushes a number of the older guests almost out of their chairs to "get moving."

4) Once we got to the indoor venue she starts yelling, "get out of the way the bridal party is coming" AGAIN, and starts shooing people away from the bar. She has the bride and groom cut the cake without telling anyone so no one got any pictures. (I know the bride and her mom and it was NOT planned to do that privately. They were very upset at how this was handled"

5) She didn't even make sure the bride and groom got dinner, and it turned out the bride didn't. The planner kept rushing her around for pictures and "moments" so the bride and groom didn't even get to stop at every table.

I would rather pull out my hair on my wedding day than ever use that type of planner.

Camera Mount Screws ?

Hello, I was curious as if anyone knows what the camera mount screws are called or where to get them. I do know that the standard mount is a 1/4 x 20 machine screw, but I'm looking more in the lines of the screws that are thinner and then go to the 1/4 inch standard. If nothing else where to find (locally would be best) some camera mount pads with screws already in them.

On another quest, I was also looking to find out what they are called or HOW to keep a regular 1/4 screw mounted or attached to a flash bracket without it falling out.

I've though it was something like this :

but went to the local Home Depot and ws told that these will also "unscrew" just like a regular nut.

Any ideas ? EVEN if it's not local any help would be appreciated.

Nikon lens recommendations?

My daughter just received a D200 from her father-in-law. She has the use of a couple of his lenses for now but will have to by her own eventually. She's interested in getting decent walk around lens that is suitable for general photography (landscapes and such) as well as pictures of her kids. She's looking to me for guidance, but I'm a Canon guy and really don't know anything about Nikon gear. Anyone have any recommendations for decent walk around lens?


Nikon makes a 24mm F/2.8 for $400. It's a good lens as far as I know. That can certainly be a nice lens, but it won't be wide enough for some landscapes, nor long enough some kid shots.

They don't make the equivalent (18mm) for the crop-sensor cameras like the D200. The lack of wide-angle primes for crop sensor cameras is a big complaint among Nikon users.

The closest options are the $600 20mm F/2.8, and the $2000 14mm F/2.8.

Otherwise, there's zooms. I'm pretty happy with the 18-70, which isn't really available new anymore, but can be had for less than $200 used. Reportedly, the 16-85 not only covers a slightly wider range, but manages to perform a little better...but for several times the price. Or there's the 17-55 F/2.8 for over $1500.

However, since she can borrow lenses at the moment, she should (as long as she treats them nicely). Then she'll figure out on her own what focal lengths she uses.

Wedding vows help

My fiance and I are writing our own ceremony, including our vows. I've decided to write mine in sonnet form, and he was going to write his free-verse but went with the sonnet format as well after reading mine.

We're injecting a little humor as well, since that's one of the many wonderful life lessons he teaches me every day. I'm promising to get my driver's license before our first anniversary and he's promising to let me drive his car.

How did you decide on your vows?

My wife researched all different vows online and took the bits and pieces of different vows to make our own. This was actually pretty difficult because so many vows say "To death due us part" which we both absolutely didn't want in our vows. The reason for this is because we're realistic. Our philosphy is that we're going to be together as long as our relationship is still good. As soon as it's not good anymore for an extended period of time, then we'll call it quits. Hopefully that doesn't happen, but we're just realistic about relationships.

The Event Planning Industry is hard work

There is a lot in this industry that hopeful planners do not realize. A lot of women would come to me (when I was an event specialist) and think planning would be so much fun! It isn't always fun, in fact I found myself burnt out quite often. I would ask them why they think this is the industry for them and they would say:
"Well when I was a bridesmaid, I had so much fun doing this and that....", it is soooo not the same. When I said that it is a little different, they wouldn't believe me because "they still did a lot of decorating at the wedding"...

It was funny when I'd offer them the opportunity to job shadow me at one of my events and they'd gawk when I would tell them to expect a 13 hour work day on a saturday. Or they would tell me they can't work weekends....um- weddings are usually on weekends!

Wedding planning is not cake tasting and pretty flowers, it is very demanding physically and emotionally- brides sometimes don't care if you have a family function or a sick kid, they want your attention now!
I left the industry after I got engaged this summer. I was never home or available to my fiance and we want to be able to spend more time together. I also want to start a family after we are married- and this industry is not friendly for a mother of young children. Luckily, my boss understood my situation to want more predictible hours for a family and wished me the best.

I hope you really do your homework on this industry before you jump-in. I am glad you are job shadowing event professionals and are taking classes. I am always here if you have any questions, I absolutely LOVED being a planner, it was just very challenging at times! Maybe after I have my kids and they are quite older (teens) I'll return to the industry.

Bachelor and Bachelorette parties

What did you all do for your bachelor/ette parties?

Since my partner and I are in an open relationship/marriage, our b-parties are not about any last hurrahs of singledom as is usually the case. Instead, we decided we'd rather our b-parties be a time for us to connect with our friends so the guys don't have to worry about me taking the groom away from them and my girls don't worry about the groom taking me away from them when I become his wife.

My guy spent a week in Utah with his groomsmen, where they did all sorts of manly (and some boyish) activities like camping, hiking, driving down dangerous roads and shooting guns.

I just had my party this weekend, which had two parts. Friday night was a slumber party in the woods with my girls where we grilled dinner then stayed up late watching Bridesmaids. Saturday morning they woke me up with a serenade on mandolin and breakfast in bed. We went for a hike in the woods and then returned to the cabin for crafting (we made dozens of feathered hairpieces).

Part 2 began Saturday night, when we went to a psy-trance music party where we danced all night. The next morning, the party was still ongoing so my girls donned tutus and gave me a Bride to Be banner to wear during my naughty Scavenger Hunt. We ended the weekend with a dip in a hot tub and a competitive game of hammering nails into a log at a friend's home nearby.

I am feeling so blessed that our friends understand how our wedding is not just the union of my groom and I, but also a blending of our blood relations and chosen family members. So much love!

Question about wedding make up?

How many Brides are doing their own make up for day of?

What I wanted originally was to have a hair and make up stylist go to our house and do our hair and make-up there. I had two or three in contact and all of them can't do it now. (to replace her i looked and all the ones want like P2000 for hair and P1500 for make up each person)

Now its ten days to the wedding I have no one to do my hair and make up. My MOH suggested going to a Hair salon. and they will style our hair for P1000 per person. And to do our own make up. And, I just feel this is not something I want to go cheap on. I want to look breath taking and beautiful. I want all eyes and AWE's on me. Do you know what i mean? Am I being an over Dramatic Bridezila?


So it ends up that one of my bridesmaids is doing my makeup and I'm styling my own hair (it's a short pixie cut that's longer in front). I haven't worn makeup in SOOOO long that I couldn't possibly do a good job so I'm grateful my friend is helping me.

If you don't know anyone personally who's good at doing makeup, and you don't want to pay for a professional, maybe you'd consider reaching out to some local theater or salon students for discounted assistance?

Family advice needed

So, long long story short, I haven't had a relationship with my father in about 2.5 years. If anyone is interested in specifically why not, I'm happy to answer questions, but the basic reason is that the negativity of the relationship was seeping into basically every aspect of my life. We tried family therapy, and in therapy he told me that I could like it or leave it. I chose to leave it. We've texted and emailed every couple of months over the last 2.5 years, mostly one-liners like "Happy Birthday," but there's been no other contact.

My fiance proposed in May. I called my father that day and left a voicemail telling him we got engaged. He called back (I legitimately missed the call) and left a voicemail saying congrats.

When we booked a venue, I sent an email to the family, including my dad, linking to the venue's website. I got excited responses from my sister, brother, & former step-mother (who's essentially my mother - another long story). It's been about 3 or 4 weeks, and I've had no response from my father. My brother thinks I didn't get a response because my dad didn't like my finacee (they met like, 3 or 4 times before we stopped talking).

Maybe I am getting ahead of myself, since my wedding isn't going to be until October 2013. But I am really conflicted about how to handle my dad's role, or lack thereof, in my upcoming wedding. I don't have any particular intention of mending fences before the wedding, unless he initiates the mending (which I do not expect).

Would it be in bad taste to ask my brother to walk me down the isle? I plan to invite my father to the wedding (it's up to him if he wants to come or not - I think it's the right thing to do regardless of his decision). I think it would embarass him in front of the rest of my family and my fiance's family if he wasn't a part of the ceremony, but I genuinely feel like it would be a sham to invite him to participate at this point.

Street Parking Regulations for a Home Wedding

The subdivision's streets are not very wide and none of our neighbors park in the street on a regular basis(everyone parks in their driveway).

When people do park in the street, half of their vehicle is covering the (someone's) grass or else cars can't get through the street, comfortably.

We are friendly with all of our neighbors and all are invited to the wedding.

If everyone accepts the invitation, we'd expect 18-20 vehicles needing to park.

How should we handle this? We live near a cul de sac and there are signs around it saying 'no parking.'

Should we ask the neighbor across the street if we can park cars on his property? Or is that asking too much? Our lot is too small for this.

Or, should we just downsize our guest list?

p.s. We can fit 4 vehicles in our driveway... but we're saving those spots for the elderly/handicapped/grandparents.

Other suggestions are welcome.

*Already contacted the city twice to ask if we can have people park in the street on one side... its been weeks... no response.

Manila Wedding Budget

How to save money for a wedding in Manila?

Our budget is P300k for a 100 guest wedding and P150k for our honeymoon.

We're not having flowers - with our ceremony and reception being outdoors at a nature center, we figured the extra expense of flowers was unnecessary.

We're not mailing save the dates, but are instead emailing a link to our website. The invitations will be designed by the same friend who set up our website. We'll pay him for the printing if he lets us.

Our photographer, videographer and musicians (ceremony and reception) are all friends who are providing their services for free or at steep discounts.

Very few of our guests have to travel far, and those who do are staying in discounted hotel rooms (thanks to our best man), with us, or with family.

My colleague who caters is booked, so we may use a friend-of-a-friend for the dinner we'll provide our guests. Someone who donated cupcakes to a fundraiser I hosted a couple years ago will be paid to provide cupcakes and a cake for our guests.

The shower will be held at my grandmother's house, and my bachelorette weekend will be held at the house of a friend's mother.

Some of our favors will be handmade and/or obtained from thrift shops.

Our whole she-bang is very thrifty and DIY, which has helped us keep costs down tremendously.

Canon 5D Mark II :: Which lens?

I've got a 5DmkII kit with the 24-105L lens right now. It takes wonderful pictures but I want a new lens and I'm torn between two. I will eventually end up with both but I was curious which you would choose first (and why.

The lenses are:

--Canon 50mm f/1.4 USM

OR

--Samyang 14mm Ultra Wide-Angle f/2.8 IF ED UMC

I shoot a wide variety of subjects, so the lens won't have a specific purpose. I've thought about just saving $200 towards the Samyang and just buying the Canon 50mm f/1.8 lens over the f/1.4...thoughts? Would you say the 50 f/1.4 is $200 better than the f/1.8? Any suggestions will be welcomed!

I can answer Wedding Photo Questions!

I am not promoting services, just here to help answer questions for Manila brides and grooms couples! I've got 12 years experience photographing weddings and I can help you ask the right questions - all to get the wedding photography that makes you happiest: should I get a wedding photo album or not? What about online wedding photo galleries? Does my photographer have the right gear to work with the lighting conditions of my wedding venue? Etc!

Groomsmen attire

One of my groomsmen is fairly well-off financially, while the other four struggle in that area. In light of this, I'm being more flexible with my requests for their attire at our wedding.

I'm insisting they rent a vest ($25) and tie ($5) from Men's Warehouse in the colors I picked for them, but I'm not requiring them to rent the same suit. Instead, I'm encouraging them to consider wearing their own suit separates as long as the slacks and optional jackets are solid black and the button front shirts are white.

I find myself occasionally worrying (mostly in my Maid of Honor's voice) that "the blacks won't match" but then I remind myself that it's the relationships we have with these people which is really important so what they're wearing is no longer a concern.

Has anyone else taken a similar route with their groomsmen?

What's your elevator pitch?

No matter how smart you are, if you can't sell yourself you can never really become self employed nor an entrepreneur.

Not the used car type salesman, but the real salesman who knows how to show value. For example mastery of the elevator pitch:

On the way to the tenth floor you have a captive audience of one person in a business suit. You have a half minute to do one or more of the following:

1- they will ask you for more info
2- they will want to join your team
3- they have something of value to offer you
4- they will refer you to somebody

What's your elevator pitch?

Should I marry her or breakup with her?

Hi everyone,

I'm very much in love with this girl. We are currently planning our wedding for December. We've been together for 2 years.

Last week, I happened to read her chat log with one of her friends. She used my computer and forgot to log out.

She still loves her ex-boyfriend of 6 years whom she met when she was 20. He broke up with her 3 years ago. In the chat, she mentioned she'd always dreamt of marrying her ex while they were together. In her eyes, he was a perfect person. She'd waited 6 years for him to marry her, but for some unknown reason, he broke up with her.

When her friend asked her what she thinks about marrying me. She said I'm just an ok person. In the chat, she said in her own words, "The person I am still in love with 100% doesn't love me back. Nothing I can do. This guy is ok. I'm marrying him because he loves me and cares for me."

Now i'm heart-broken. I'm comtemplating of breaking up with her, but I love her too much now that I think breaking up with her is hard for me to do.

What should I do?

Planning a wedding from long distance

Planning a wedding when your 1200 miles away from the location. Have any of you done something similar? How hard was it or how hard do you think it would be?

My bf and I are talking about getting married back where he's from (1200 miles from where we live now). We've already discussed it would be a small wedding; close friends and family. His family is already up there (his dad has heart failure and can't travel so that is part of the reason for doing it there) and most of my family (other than my parents) live a few hour drive from there as well.


It can be done, just extra planning and plan to take a trip there one or two times along the way, but do your research and set up appointments ahead of time before you get to town.

Spend lots of time online and on the phone finding venues you want to check out, rule them out ahead of time best you can and then see all the rest when you get there. Meet the florist and any other vendors.

And plan to be there at least a week before the wedding depending on how/where you want your dress to be sent and fitted for last minute alterations.

Most Recent Event Struggle

My fiance emailed the contact person for our venue the other day with final plans and a few questions. (Our wedding is exactly two weeks from today).

In response, the woman said that there isn't enough room for 13 tables in the reception hall, when we've already created the table chart and made the place cards for seating everyone.

However, when we met with her twice before, she gave us a table chart with 13 tables for our guests, an area for a buffet, and a table for the cake/cupcakes. We also have a typed and signed contract (created by her) that states that we can have 13 tables and hold 120 people.

Now she is saying we can only have 11 tables and the hall holds 100 people. Then why the f@$# did she say we can have more tables and guests in the first place and even gave us a chart showing how to place 13 tables?!

Now my fiance and I are redoing the table chart and place cards and sticking more people at a table when the round tables can hold 8 people comfortably. Now we have to put 10 and 9 at some tables uncomfortably because we were misinformed about everything. Seriously?!

Thank you for reading my rant.

How to choose bridesmaids

Don't pick people to be bridesmaids because your side will look empty or you feel you need to have them. Would it be possible to have a maid of honor and best man only? That way you each have someone but he doesn't have to make uncomfortable cuts and you don't have to feel the need to add "fillers". By the way your friends from home may still want to come and even be bridal party. If you feel the desire to have them stand with you then by all means ask them. Please do not ask ygour not so close friends to stand for you just because they're local.

I have traveled far for weddings and have know bridal party to travel far for weddings. One of my bridesmaids will be flying all the way across the county with her new born baby to be at my wedding. You'll be suprised at how much people are willing to do to make it to a wedding.

That being said... invite everyone you can afford/ want there. It is not expected or required to pay for travel/lodging. A nice thing you can do is to make arrangements with a local hotel that will block off rooms for your guests and then they call and make their reservation.

Also if you have super close guy friends yoou could always ask them to be men of honor.

Don't stress on your wedding day

You are the bride, this is your day. So what if someone makes a scene. Yeah, it will suck for a little while, but then it will be over. It's not like someone is going to stand there the entire 5 hours of a reception and scream, right? Think of any other mishap that could end up causing s disaster, the cake topples over and is ruined, someone trips down the isle, whatever, granted those aren't exactly the same, but what do you do, you pick yourself up brush it off and keep walking down the isle, it happens, then it's over. You just move on. So I think you simply need to create that kind of mindset for yourself. Don't take any of this on. If he calls, say simply, I'm so sorry this is bothering you, right now I am going to plan for my wedding which is supposed to be a very special day. I wold really like your support. I have to go now, and hang up. Don't listen to all the screaming, and just don't pick up the phone any longer if he calls.

And if he does show up, if your venue has security or a manager, if anything happens, just say, this person is not on the guest list, please have them removed from the premises.

Also, if the person is demanding an apology from your mother, can you just talk to you Mom and ask her nicely, just say you are sorry before the wedding so nothing happens. Even if you don't mean it, it would mean something to me to not have to worry about this on my special day. Regardless of why they don't get along, can't you Mom be the one to reach out and extend a truce during this special time?

What would you do?

I have a dliema and looking for some advice. Our wedding is planned for February 2013. (A Friday evening) We live in FL, and were planning on having an outdoor ceremony on the water, and a reception at my mother's large house. My dad passed away two years ago.

Dilema:

I found a ceremony spot that I love. It is in a small public park, with a boardwalk leading out to a dock in the water. The best part is that you can see the bridge where my dad's ashes were spread. I like that he would be able to 'watch over us' even if he is not physically there.

However, the dock is in a public park. I have inquired and I can rent a pavillion at the park, but not the actual dock. I could still do the ceremony there and I don't think that any one would object to not being on the dock during the ceremony, but technically no one has to leave if they don't want to. Also, the dock is only big enough for about 20 people. I don't have a problem with this. Any other family that would want to see the ceremony would be able to do so on shore without a problem. I don't like a lot of attention, so this works for me to only have immediate family on the dock for a very intimate ceremony and then a larger group to the reception.

What would you do? I feel like this location speaks to me but I don't want to be worried or stressed that we couldn't control any of the park patrons.

Thanks for any help you can provide :)

Wedding Program Template

I'm writing our program and loving it! I can't believe I managed to keep it to one page (double sided with a center fold) because there is SO much information to share.

Front Cover: Thank you and venue information, schedule of events with locations (it's inside and outside at a nature center)

Inside Left: Explain the process of the ring warming, as well as the meaning of the call and response, and mentions the magic wand and word the guests are gifted with.

Inside Right: wording of the chant previously introduced, what the elements represent and the tradition of handfastings.

Back Cover: Sonnet we wrote for our invitation, list of friendors (friendly vendors) who helped make our wedding possible and their contact information.

What was included in your program? What did you intentionally leave out, and why?

Event Viewer

Don't laugh, but I'm learning about using the Event Viewer and had a question about the "Administrative Events" log: is it good practice to attempt to fix as many of the common error events as possible before something major happens to the system? Mine has tons of warnings but also lots of error logs. I'm tempted to dive in and try my hand at reducing these, but with my limited knowledge of a comp system's anatomy, I'm naturally a little hesitant--esp if the solutions end up doing more harm than good. Thanks again for your help

Wedding reception games and activities

Not only have I been creating some elemental-themed games and activities for my wedding guests, but some have been requesting such things themselves! One couple emailed us an image of a mad-libs rsvp card in response to our website survey, where we ask each guest for a favorite color, a verb, a noun and an adjective. One of our groomsmen suggested a word scramble poem with the vows, which we won't be doing ourselves, but have instead invented a "found poem" game for guests to write a basic couplet (or poem style of their choice) using some of the words we received from guests at their table. Another game was inspired by Jillian's I-Spy, and includes a photo scavenger hunt list. There's also an overall event/catering critique request and an icebreaker where people ask others to join them in a unique greeting involving a physical (but nonsexual, of course!) touch. Yes, I know. It's probably all too weird for most of you. But, believe me - it's not too weird for my guests. So tell me, what do you love about the games and/or activities that you plan/ned for your guests during your reception? I'd love to hear how you make traditions more personal.

Party Planning Tips : How to Hire an Event Planner

If you are planning an event, this video has some great advice

How many people should we sit per table?

My sister and I are differing on the number to sit at the tables provided by the park venue. They are either 5 or 6 feet by 30 inches. We will be able to go check in the next day or two to be absolutly sure. So I looked up on a banquet site and they said that you can seat six people at a 6 foot table which is basically 3 on each side. My sister thinks we can also put one at each end making 8 at a table and serving will be buffet barbecue with nice heavy duty disposable plates. The guests will be in formal wear not picnic attire.

The venue is an old mill building with whitewashed walls and nice wood floors. The bride is our neice who's parents are both gone. she lives in NY and we and wedding are in dc.

DIY Projects - Magic wands

I've been making these "magic wand" favors all weekend, and am feeling a bit arthritic, but happy to have put so much effort toward these handmade gifts. Since our handfasting ceremony has an elemental theme I wanted everyone to have a magic wand and magic word to help us celebrate.

Each of the 81 wands has a jingle bell and at least four strips of ribbon (black, white, silver and gray), and each wand is wrapped in tape so that there are 13 red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple handles (my handle is white, the groom's handle is black and the ribbon bearer's handle is glittery silver. The bride and groom wands have 36" handles, and ribbons measuring 2 yards, while the wands for everyone else have 12" handles and 3' ribbons.

I even screwed in the eye hooks, attached the swivels and o-rings and cut/tied the ribbons myself. Sore spots are forming and one scissor sliced thumb is healing - but I'm still smiling. What'd you make, or what are you making, for your guests?

Outdoor wedding venue ideas?

I know this is a global forum, but after banging my head against the wall for the past few months, I figured it has to be worth a try.

So the FH and I are planning an outdoor wedding for September of next year. Obviously we'd like to have something that has an indoor option, as the weather here in the Northeast is infamously finicky. We want something rural and rustic, as we are both outdoorsy people. It won't be a religious ceremony, so no worry about having a church or the like.

The problem is that, every place that I've looked has absolutely ASTRONOMICAL fees and won't allow outside caterers. One of FH's best friends is a chef at a very nice restaurant and wants to cater as his gift to us (which I'm *obviously* ok with), but I can't find a place that will allow it.

The other hitch is that we're kind of outside the norm, unconventional people, so we're looking for something that fits that side of our personalities as well.

So that's that! If anyone in the Worcester/Boston Massachusetts area knows of an off-the-beaten-path place to have a small, outdoor wedding, I'd love to hear about it!

Wedding Gift Question

A friend's daughter is getting married in September and honeymooning as a condo in Maui. We know the mom and dad really well, the bride a little bit and the groom not at all. Groom is in culinary school. They are both young 20's, are HS sweethearts and each of them still lives at home. We thought, since they will be in a condo to save some $$ and be able to cook, maybe we could get them a $100 GC for a nice resto in Lahaina where they are staying. I know they like seafood so there's a lot of choices there. 

I posted this question on a travel board and several people said they wouldn't like to be reined into going to one particular restaurant. I figured I'd ask bride's mother what kind of places they might like.

Would you be bothered if you got a gift like this? They will be there for a week so I figured one night would be a fancy dinner night.

Anyone else find this rude?

My sister in-law and brother in-law seem to be obsessed with projecting an image of superiority and high social status.

Went over my wife's parents house for the holidays they always do whatever they have to do to place themselves at the head of the main table, even though the parents have to sit else were and the grandma has to stand at the kitchen counter to eat. This is no coincidence as it has happened the past five years I have known them.

We had them over our house two years ago and they actually sat at the head of our table before my wife and I could get out of the kitchen with our meals. I really couldn't even believe that one.

Last weekend we had them over along with the rest of the family. I was quick to get my plate filled first then hurry to the table, the sister in-law was already seated at the head of the table but I sat at the opposite end! As soon as I sat down she was taken aback and started to double speak about why she was sitting at "the head of the table". This statement confirmed for me and the rest of us in ear shot that they knowingly seek to put themselves in dominant positions in social situations. Too funny, I didn't respond to her excuse, I let the silence hang heavy in the air, it was great.

Anyways, they just drive me nuts with this crap. They both have Masters degrees but they work for non-profits and the dept of health and human services so they don't make that much money, you wouldn't know it though by the way they act!

Photo booth at a wedding

If you decide to have one of those photo booths at your wedding, and you will also be serving alcohol, it's a good idea to warn your guests that, in addition to the photos being printed out on a little strip of paper, that they are all recorded to a hard drive and will most likely end up online for everyone to see. You'll save your friends and loved ones a lot of embarrassment.

I think in this day and age that most people who drink know that photos will be taken at one point or another and that there is a risk for any foul behavior to end up online. Think about it, just about everyone has a smart phone with instant access to upload on to the internet and everyone else probably has at least a disposable camera that can be printed onto a disc and uploaded online. Oh, and I forgot one important thing... they will be at a WEDDING. Where people hire PHOTOGRAPHERS to take photos, which usually always end up online for all to see anyway.

If you don't already know the risk of drinking heavily and having your photo taken, well then... you might just be living in a hole.

Abandoning plans and accepting the process

I had the BEST conversation last night with one of my artist friends. I had been floundering lately about what sort of body of work I should do next. I had an idea about it, but I felt unsure about it until I spoke with her.

She asked me some key questions about it that made me see it all clearly, like what exactly was interesting to me about the idea, and I found that there wasn't anything specifically interesting to me about it at all, and therefore, it was not a good enough idea for a whole body of work.

I realized, I was putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. And I was thinking too much about what would be interesting to display in a show instead of what was going to hold my own interest. It's very important (for me) to be engaged in the painting process, and to also have fun - while also challenging myself. I work instinctively usually, so making such a plan before I had even started on painting one was not the way to go.

What was interesting to me about my idea was not the imagery itself, but the narrative behind the forms. I had been telling myself that I need to take out the narrative in my work because some people don't like it, or I'm doing it too much, or blah blah blah. But I came to the conclusion that WHAT I will be painting is a lot less important than how I approach it. It's a matter of trusting myself to pull it all together as I go along. I can't stress enough how important it is to ignore all the self-doubt or outside validation in cases like this.

Now I can make the first piece, and that's all that matters. Because the first will inform the next - and rather than a laid out plan, I will watch and discover what comes into being.

I am so excited, I thought I'd share that. :)

...whether it's uninteresting or interesting doesn't really matter. I am just high on being an artist at the moment.

Guest list troubles

So my FH and I are trying to plan our Manila wedding and we have had a hard time trying to figure out what to do about how many people we would like to have at our wedding. We orginally wanted to have a smaller wedding with 75 guests but I don't think it's possible.

I have a HUGE family with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins and just about all of the cousins have kids.

My FH's family is a difficult situation. His real father is not around, his first step dad pretty much raised him but is more involved with his new wife and kids but is still close with those family members, his second and current step dad has a huge family who he is close with also.

With family it doesn't leave much room for close friends. So, do you think we have one of those invite all or nothing situations so there's no conflict with people being offended by not getting an event invite?

Moving my wedding date?

I'm more confused than ever about what to do. We're still going to do the small home ceremony so that my dad can be a part of us being married and sign the license etc but idk about the "other" wedding...

My dads health seems to be declining slowly, he's even able to get in his power scooter and go outside. Yesterday we got him into our SUV and he went to Walmart! But my stepmom and the nurse keep telling me there's no way he'll be alive for my November wedding. My feelings on this are if something happens to him in July, August September etc, I don't want to have my wedding in such a short amount of time after his passing...

But on the other hand, miracles happen and I would feel SOOO incredibly bad if he did somehow pull through to November and I've already changed my date to 2013...

Idk. I'm just so lost about all of this. You all have been helpful through these types of decisions so if you could give me some input/insight I would greatly appreciate it!