Planning a wedding from long distance

Planning a wedding when your 1200 miles away from the location. Have any of you done something similar? How hard was it or how hard do you think it would be?

My bf and I are talking about getting married back where he's from (1200 miles from where we live now). We've already discussed it would be a small wedding; close friends and family. His family is already up there (his dad has heart failure and can't travel so that is part of the reason for doing it there) and most of my family (other than my parents) live a few hour drive from there as well.


It can be done, just extra planning and plan to take a trip there one or two times along the way, but do your research and set up appointments ahead of time before you get to town.

Spend lots of time online and on the phone finding venues you want to check out, rule them out ahead of time best you can and then see all the rest when you get there. Meet the florist and any other vendors.

And plan to be there at least a week before the wedding depending on how/where you want your dress to be sent and fitted for last minute alterations.

Most Recent Event Struggle

My fiance emailed the contact person for our venue the other day with final plans and a few questions. (Our wedding is exactly two weeks from today).

In response, the woman said that there isn't enough room for 13 tables in the reception hall, when we've already created the table chart and made the place cards for seating everyone.

However, when we met with her twice before, she gave us a table chart with 13 tables for our guests, an area for a buffet, and a table for the cake/cupcakes. We also have a typed and signed contract (created by her) that states that we can have 13 tables and hold 120 people.

Now she is saying we can only have 11 tables and the hall holds 100 people. Then why the f@$# did she say we can have more tables and guests in the first place and even gave us a chart showing how to place 13 tables?!

Now my fiance and I are redoing the table chart and place cards and sticking more people at a table when the round tables can hold 8 people comfortably. Now we have to put 10 and 9 at some tables uncomfortably because we were misinformed about everything. Seriously?!

Thank you for reading my rant.

How to choose bridesmaids

Don't pick people to be bridesmaids because your side will look empty or you feel you need to have them. Would it be possible to have a maid of honor and best man only? That way you each have someone but he doesn't have to make uncomfortable cuts and you don't have to feel the need to add "fillers". By the way your friends from home may still want to come and even be bridal party. If you feel the desire to have them stand with you then by all means ask them. Please do not ask ygour not so close friends to stand for you just because they're local.

I have traveled far for weddings and have know bridal party to travel far for weddings. One of my bridesmaids will be flying all the way across the county with her new born baby to be at my wedding. You'll be suprised at how much people are willing to do to make it to a wedding.

That being said... invite everyone you can afford/ want there. It is not expected or required to pay for travel/lodging. A nice thing you can do is to make arrangements with a local hotel that will block off rooms for your guests and then they call and make their reservation.

Also if you have super close guy friends yoou could always ask them to be men of honor.

Don't stress on your wedding day

You are the bride, this is your day. So what if someone makes a scene. Yeah, it will suck for a little while, but then it will be over. It's not like someone is going to stand there the entire 5 hours of a reception and scream, right? Think of any other mishap that could end up causing s disaster, the cake topples over and is ruined, someone trips down the isle, whatever, granted those aren't exactly the same, but what do you do, you pick yourself up brush it off and keep walking down the isle, it happens, then it's over. You just move on. So I think you simply need to create that kind of mindset for yourself. Don't take any of this on. If he calls, say simply, I'm so sorry this is bothering you, right now I am going to plan for my wedding which is supposed to be a very special day. I wold really like your support. I have to go now, and hang up. Don't listen to all the screaming, and just don't pick up the phone any longer if he calls.

And if he does show up, if your venue has security or a manager, if anything happens, just say, this person is not on the guest list, please have them removed from the premises.

Also, if the person is demanding an apology from your mother, can you just talk to you Mom and ask her nicely, just say you are sorry before the wedding so nothing happens. Even if you don't mean it, it would mean something to me to not have to worry about this on my special day. Regardless of why they don't get along, can't you Mom be the one to reach out and extend a truce during this special time?

What would you do?

I have a dliema and looking for some advice. Our wedding is planned for February 2013. (A Friday evening) We live in FL, and were planning on having an outdoor ceremony on the water, and a reception at my mother's large house. My dad passed away two years ago.

Dilema:

I found a ceremony spot that I love. It is in a small public park, with a boardwalk leading out to a dock in the water. The best part is that you can see the bridge where my dad's ashes were spread. I like that he would be able to 'watch over us' even if he is not physically there.

However, the dock is in a public park. I have inquired and I can rent a pavillion at the park, but not the actual dock. I could still do the ceremony there and I don't think that any one would object to not being on the dock during the ceremony, but technically no one has to leave if they don't want to. Also, the dock is only big enough for about 20 people. I don't have a problem with this. Any other family that would want to see the ceremony would be able to do so on shore without a problem. I don't like a lot of attention, so this works for me to only have immediate family on the dock for a very intimate ceremony and then a larger group to the reception.

What would you do? I feel like this location speaks to me but I don't want to be worried or stressed that we couldn't control any of the park patrons.

Thanks for any help you can provide :)

Wedding Program Template

I'm writing our program and loving it! I can't believe I managed to keep it to one page (double sided with a center fold) because there is SO much information to share.

Front Cover: Thank you and venue information, schedule of events with locations (it's inside and outside at a nature center)

Inside Left: Explain the process of the ring warming, as well as the meaning of the call and response, and mentions the magic wand and word the guests are gifted with.

Inside Right: wording of the chant previously introduced, what the elements represent and the tradition of handfastings.

Back Cover: Sonnet we wrote for our invitation, list of friendors (friendly vendors) who helped make our wedding possible and their contact information.

What was included in your program? What did you intentionally leave out, and why?

Event Viewer

Don't laugh, but I'm learning about using the Event Viewer and had a question about the "Administrative Events" log: is it good practice to attempt to fix as many of the common error events as possible before something major happens to the system? Mine has tons of warnings but also lots of error logs. I'm tempted to dive in and try my hand at reducing these, but with my limited knowledge of a comp system's anatomy, I'm naturally a little hesitant--esp if the solutions end up doing more harm than good. Thanks again for your help

Wedding reception games and activities

Not only have I been creating some elemental-themed games and activities for my wedding guests, but some have been requesting such things themselves! One couple emailed us an image of a mad-libs rsvp card in response to our website survey, where we ask each guest for a favorite color, a verb, a noun and an adjective. One of our groomsmen suggested a word scramble poem with the vows, which we won't be doing ourselves, but have instead invented a "found poem" game for guests to write a basic couplet (or poem style of their choice) using some of the words we received from guests at their table. Another game was inspired by Jillian's I-Spy, and includes a photo scavenger hunt list. There's also an overall event/catering critique request and an icebreaker where people ask others to join them in a unique greeting involving a physical (but nonsexual, of course!) touch. Yes, I know. It's probably all too weird for most of you. But, believe me - it's not too weird for my guests. So tell me, what do you love about the games and/or activities that you plan/ned for your guests during your reception? I'd love to hear how you make traditions more personal.

Party Planning Tips : How to Hire an Event Planner

If you are planning an event, this video has some great advice

How many people should we sit per table?

My sister and I are differing on the number to sit at the tables provided by the park venue. They are either 5 or 6 feet by 30 inches. We will be able to go check in the next day or two to be absolutly sure. So I looked up on a banquet site and they said that you can seat six people at a 6 foot table which is basically 3 on each side. My sister thinks we can also put one at each end making 8 at a table and serving will be buffet barbecue with nice heavy duty disposable plates. The guests will be in formal wear not picnic attire.

The venue is an old mill building with whitewashed walls and nice wood floors. The bride is our neice who's parents are both gone. she lives in NY and we and wedding are in dc.

DIY Projects - Magic wands

I've been making these "magic wand" favors all weekend, and am feeling a bit arthritic, but happy to have put so much effort toward these handmade gifts. Since our handfasting ceremony has an elemental theme I wanted everyone to have a magic wand and magic word to help us celebrate.

Each of the 81 wands has a jingle bell and at least four strips of ribbon (black, white, silver and gray), and each wand is wrapped in tape so that there are 13 red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple handles (my handle is white, the groom's handle is black and the ribbon bearer's handle is glittery silver. The bride and groom wands have 36" handles, and ribbons measuring 2 yards, while the wands for everyone else have 12" handles and 3' ribbons.

I even screwed in the eye hooks, attached the swivels and o-rings and cut/tied the ribbons myself. Sore spots are forming and one scissor sliced thumb is healing - but I'm still smiling. What'd you make, or what are you making, for your guests?

Outdoor wedding venue ideas?

I know this is a global forum, but after banging my head against the wall for the past few months, I figured it has to be worth a try.

So the FH and I are planning an outdoor wedding for September of next year. Obviously we'd like to have something that has an indoor option, as the weather here in the Northeast is infamously finicky. We want something rural and rustic, as we are both outdoorsy people. It won't be a religious ceremony, so no worry about having a church or the like.

The problem is that, every place that I've looked has absolutely ASTRONOMICAL fees and won't allow outside caterers. One of FH's best friends is a chef at a very nice restaurant and wants to cater as his gift to us (which I'm *obviously* ok with), but I can't find a place that will allow it.

The other hitch is that we're kind of outside the norm, unconventional people, so we're looking for something that fits that side of our personalities as well.

So that's that! If anyone in the Worcester/Boston Massachusetts area knows of an off-the-beaten-path place to have a small, outdoor wedding, I'd love to hear about it!

Wedding Gift Question

A friend's daughter is getting married in September and honeymooning as a condo in Maui. We know the mom and dad really well, the bride a little bit and the groom not at all. Groom is in culinary school. They are both young 20's, are HS sweethearts and each of them still lives at home. We thought, since they will be in a condo to save some $$ and be able to cook, maybe we could get them a $100 GC for a nice resto in Lahaina where they are staying. I know they like seafood so there's a lot of choices there. 

I posted this question on a travel board and several people said they wouldn't like to be reined into going to one particular restaurant. I figured I'd ask bride's mother what kind of places they might like.

Would you be bothered if you got a gift like this? They will be there for a week so I figured one night would be a fancy dinner night.

Anyone else find this rude?

My sister in-law and brother in-law seem to be obsessed with projecting an image of superiority and high social status.

Went over my wife's parents house for the holidays they always do whatever they have to do to place themselves at the head of the main table, even though the parents have to sit else were and the grandma has to stand at the kitchen counter to eat. This is no coincidence as it has happened the past five years I have known them.

We had them over our house two years ago and they actually sat at the head of our table before my wife and I could get out of the kitchen with our meals. I really couldn't even believe that one.

Last weekend we had them over along with the rest of the family. I was quick to get my plate filled first then hurry to the table, the sister in-law was already seated at the head of the table but I sat at the opposite end! As soon as I sat down she was taken aback and started to double speak about why she was sitting at "the head of the table". This statement confirmed for me and the rest of us in ear shot that they knowingly seek to put themselves in dominant positions in social situations. Too funny, I didn't respond to her excuse, I let the silence hang heavy in the air, it was great.

Anyways, they just drive me nuts with this crap. They both have Masters degrees but they work for non-profits and the dept of health and human services so they don't make that much money, you wouldn't know it though by the way they act!

Photo booth at a wedding

If you decide to have one of those photo booths at your wedding, and you will also be serving alcohol, it's a good idea to warn your guests that, in addition to the photos being printed out on a little strip of paper, that they are all recorded to a hard drive and will most likely end up online for everyone to see. You'll save your friends and loved ones a lot of embarrassment.

I think in this day and age that most people who drink know that photos will be taken at one point or another and that there is a risk for any foul behavior to end up online. Think about it, just about everyone has a smart phone with instant access to upload on to the internet and everyone else probably has at least a disposable camera that can be printed onto a disc and uploaded online. Oh, and I forgot one important thing... they will be at a WEDDING. Where people hire PHOTOGRAPHERS to take photos, which usually always end up online for all to see anyway.

If you don't already know the risk of drinking heavily and having your photo taken, well then... you might just be living in a hole.

Abandoning plans and accepting the process

I had the BEST conversation last night with one of my artist friends. I had been floundering lately about what sort of body of work I should do next. I had an idea about it, but I felt unsure about it until I spoke with her.

She asked me some key questions about it that made me see it all clearly, like what exactly was interesting to me about the idea, and I found that there wasn't anything specifically interesting to me about it at all, and therefore, it was not a good enough idea for a whole body of work.

I realized, I was putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. And I was thinking too much about what would be interesting to display in a show instead of what was going to hold my own interest. It's very important (for me) to be engaged in the painting process, and to also have fun - while also challenging myself. I work instinctively usually, so making such a plan before I had even started on painting one was not the way to go.

What was interesting to me about my idea was not the imagery itself, but the narrative behind the forms. I had been telling myself that I need to take out the narrative in my work because some people don't like it, or I'm doing it too much, or blah blah blah. But I came to the conclusion that WHAT I will be painting is a lot less important than how I approach it. It's a matter of trusting myself to pull it all together as I go along. I can't stress enough how important it is to ignore all the self-doubt or outside validation in cases like this.

Now I can make the first piece, and that's all that matters. Because the first will inform the next - and rather than a laid out plan, I will watch and discover what comes into being.

I am so excited, I thought I'd share that. :)

...whether it's uninteresting or interesting doesn't really matter. I am just high on being an artist at the moment.

Guest list troubles

So my FH and I are trying to plan our Manila wedding and we have had a hard time trying to figure out what to do about how many people we would like to have at our wedding. We orginally wanted to have a smaller wedding with 75 guests but I don't think it's possible.

I have a HUGE family with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins and just about all of the cousins have kids.

My FH's family is a difficult situation. His real father is not around, his first step dad pretty much raised him but is more involved with his new wife and kids but is still close with those family members, his second and current step dad has a huge family who he is close with also.

With family it doesn't leave much room for close friends. So, do you think we have one of those invite all or nothing situations so there's no conflict with people being offended by not getting an event invite?

Moving my wedding date?

I'm more confused than ever about what to do. We're still going to do the small home ceremony so that my dad can be a part of us being married and sign the license etc but idk about the "other" wedding...

My dads health seems to be declining slowly, he's even able to get in his power scooter and go outside. Yesterday we got him into our SUV and he went to Walmart! But my stepmom and the nurse keep telling me there's no way he'll be alive for my November wedding. My feelings on this are if something happens to him in July, August September etc, I don't want to have my wedding in such a short amount of time after his passing...

But on the other hand, miracles happen and I would feel SOOO incredibly bad if he did somehow pull through to November and I've already changed my date to 2013...

Idk. I'm just so lost about all of this. You all have been helpful through these types of decisions so if you could give me some input/insight I would greatly appreciate it!